Books Don't Have Off Buttons
by luluhrh
Summary: In which Dan tries to turn off a book and Phil is amused. Rated T just in case. Pre-slash? Could be read as such, if you want it to be. Lots of Phil being referred to as actual sunshine (because he is, in fact, sunshine). Lots of pouty Dan. Enjoy!


**This one is just something really stupid that I'm sure at least a few of us internet-addicted idiots have done.**

 **Have you ever been reading a book and decided that you wanted to stop reading? And when you did, you automatically went to press the "off" button?**

 **I have.**

 **I've also had tiny mini freak outs in which I worried that the book I was reading would run out of battery...**

 **This can't be only me.**

 **Can it?**

 **...**

 **Well, I've decided that Dan does it too! This means I am not alone! XD**

 **Disclaimer:** **These events probably never happened, and I do not own Dan or Phil. I'm just borrowing them. For creative purposes.**

 **Shall we begin?**

 **We shall!**

* * *

It was honestly one of the most stupid things he'd ever done, and that was saying something.

Dan was reading an actual _book_ (for once), and Phil was on his laptop looking at YouTube videos. Dan had just finished loading the dishwasher and had decided that it was time for him to actually absorb some literature. Since he couldn't find his e-reader, he'd picked up the nearest book (which just so happened to be the fifth _Harry Potter_ book) and had begun to read.

He was immediately caught up in the story- nightmares and scars and listening to the news, attacks from Dementors and Number Twelve Grimmauld Place, everything pulling him back into the series as though he'd never stopped reading, had never left the Wizarding World. Before he knew it, he'd been reading for two hours.

 _I need something to eat,_ Dan thought, finishing up the chapter he was on. With a sigh, he pressed the off button.

Nothing happened.

Frowning, Dan pressed it again.

Still nothing.

"What the-"

"You okay, Dan?" Phil asked, looking up at Dan's exclamation to find Dan poking at the book he was holding with an expression of extreme confusion.

Dan looked up at Phil, frustrated. "Why isn't it working? Is it broken?"

Phil raised an eyebrow. "What, the book?"

Dan blinked. He stared down at the object in his hands, which was, in fact, a book, and therefore had no off button.

"Dan?" Phil asked, and Dan could hear the grin oh his best friend's face growing. "Did you just try to turn off a book?"

He could feel his face heating up, knew that his cheeks were turning red. "Um...no, not the book, pff. Of course I didn't try to turn off a book." He winced at his own denial. He sounded guilty. If Phil hadn't realized before, he _definitely_ knew now.

"Oh my god, you did!" Phil crows, eyes glittering with mirth. "You do realize that books don't have off buttons, Dan."

"I know that!" Dan snapped.

"They don't run out of charge, either," Phil added, grin only growing at Dan's irritation. "They don't have batteries with charge that needs to be conserved."

Dan glared at Phil, trying to ignore how blinding Phil's smile was. People joked, but sometimes it really was like staring at the sun. "I know books don't have charge, Phil. I'm not an idiot."

Phil laughed. "I know you aren't an idiot. You weren't paying attention, though. Oh my god, you're such a nerd!"

"Shut up, you dork!" Dan yelped indignantly. "It was a mistake, we all make them sometimes."

"Yes, but not all of us try to turn off books," Phil reminded him, voice filled with mirth.

Dan made a face. "Yeah, yeah," he mumbled. "Laugh it up. I did something stupid. Feel free to continue ridiculing me for my error."

Phil chuckled and leaned over to pat Dan on the head in a (slightly condescending but still _mostly_ ) comforting manner. "It's okay, I'm sure you aren't the only one to have ever done this."

Dan frowned. "You really think so?"

"...Well, maybe not," Phil said, reconsidering. "It's a pretty ditzy thing to do."

"Wow, thanks," Dan huffed. "Really helping with the self-esteem, Phil."

"No, someone must have done it!" Phil concluded. "This generation is very internet-addicted. I'm sure other people have accidentally tried to turn off books." He made a face. "And isn't that a sad statement about the amount of time people in this day and age spend on electronics?"

Dan shrugged. "Yeah, definitely."

"Doesn't it make you want to spend some time with your electronics turned off?"

"Absolutely not," Dan said immediately. "No way will I do that, ever. Nope, no way, _nada_."

Phil chuckled and ruffled Dan's hair a little, pulling away before Dan could swat at him. "Yeah, I didn't think so." He smiled at Dan, looking, as always, like actual sunshine. "For what it's worth, I don't think I could manage either."

Dan snorted. "Definitely not."

For a moment they were both silent.

Then Phil snickered. "I'm sorry, but seriously?" he said, giggling. "You tried to turn off a book!"

"Oh, shut up."

"I will!" Phil insisted. He was _still_ grinning. "Just...give me a minute."

Dan buried his head in his hands. "I already gave you a minute. I've given you more than a minute. It's been _at least_ five minutes."

"No, it's definitely only been two minutes, and that's at most," Phil argued.

"I disagree," Dan muttered, crossing his arms and _not pouting at all_.

Phil giggled, then decided to scooch over and put a consoling arm over Dan's shoulder. "Aww, don't pout, Danny-boy."

"I _swear to god_ I will throw you out a window if you call me that again," Dan vowed. "And I'm not pouting!"

"Whatever you say," Phil consented soothingly. "I promise I'll stop teasing you about this... for now."

Dan groaned and buried his face in his hands. "I'm never going to live this down, am I?" he mumbled into his fingers.

"Definitely not," Phil replied cheerfully, giving Dan a firm pat on the back before standing up and adding in a reassuring tone, "Not in this lifetime, at least."

* * *

 **This made me happy. XD**

 **RFF! Or don't follow. This is a oneshot. But definitely review! Tell me what you thought!**

 **The word of the day is ANATHEMA!**

 **That's all for now, guys. Lulu out!**


End file.
